We all hire professional when we have problems. When we’re sick or injured we go to the doctor. We follow her instructions and take the medicine she prescribed because we want to get better. When our pipes are clogged, we hire a plumber who comes with tools most of us don’t have or know how to use. We listen to his advice. When our car isn’t running right and we hear a loud squeal coming from under the hood, we take it to a mechanic to be fixed. And [...]
Divorce is a process which, predictably, has its own language. Most people entering the process for the first time are unfamiliar with the language of divorce. Here is a glossary of some of the most common terms. ARBITRATION – a hearing in which a neutral person (typically an attorney or a retired judge) selected by the parties’ attorneys, hears the case and renders a binding decision. Arbitration is voluntary, but once there is agreement to arbitrate, the result is binding. CASE INFORMATION STATEMENT (CIS) – a financial disclosure form [...]
Do not leave the marital residence before speaking to an attorney. Do not sign mortgages, notes or loan documents if you believe your marriage may end. If your spouse talks about going bankrupt advise your divorce lawyer and speak to a bankruptcy lawyer immediately. Do not communicate with your attorney from any email accounts for which your spouse knows or could easily figure out your password(s). Change your internet passwords so that they are not your birthday, old address, pet’s name or any other combination that could be easily [...]
IN THE MID – 1990S I had an initial consultation with an eighty four year old man who wanted a divorce. One of my first questions was, “When were you married?” His answer was, “1941.” I then asked, “When did you first realize you were unhappy in your marriage?” His answer? “1942”! Our conversation took place more than fifty years after he realized he was unhappy. “Why now?”, I inquired. He replied, “I woke up one morning and realized, I don’t have much time left. I want to see [...]
A QUESTION I OFTEN GET from people going through divorce is, “Can I keep the house?” This seemingly simple question is actually a multifaceted one fraught with complicated facts and emotions. Years ago a man literally divided the house in half by using a chainsaw to cut through the roof and the walls. That triumph of emotion over intellect is not the preferred way of answering the question. Generally, there are two main areas with many sub-parts to explore. First, does the income and asset picture allow you to buy your [...]
When you’re going through a divorce, discovery is a word you see and hear a lot. What is discovery? Generically, discovery is the term for gathering the information you need to intelligently settle your case or failing that, presenting your case to the family court judge at trial. Discovery takes many forms and the form and extent of discovery should be tailored to the facts and claims unique to each case. Discovery can be expensive, so it’s doubly important to make sure that you engage in only the discovery [...]
Many years ago I represented a very nice woman. She made a nice appearance, spoke well and was polite. As mightily as we tried, we just couldn’t settle her case and wound up going to trial. I prepared her for her testimony, counselled her about how to act, and told her what to expect when we got to court. We agreed that she would wear a skirt and blouse or a dress.We were ready, I thought. She arrived at court wearing a very nice knee length dress and a cardigan [...]
For most people going through a divorce, it is their first experience with the legal system and with a lawyer. So, what can you expect? Indeed, what should you expect?CANDORYou should expect to be candid with your lawyer. Your lawyer can only help you and protect your legal rights if you tell him everything. Holding back puts him at a disadvantage, which puts you at a disadvantage. The last place your lawyer wants to learn something about you is from your spouse’s lawyer.Conversely, you should expect candor from your lawyer. [...]
The words "I want a divorce" are among the most devastating ever uttered. Hearing them can make you feel as though your world has spun off its axis. They can destroy your self esteem. You may feel as though you have failed in the most important relationship in your life. You worry about whether you will be kept from your children, whether you will be able to continue your lifestyle and even whether you will have the money to pay your bills. People treat you differently. The friends with [...]
One of the most difficult issues facing divorced parents is financing the college education of a child. Since income which use to be available for one household must now support two, there is usually little opportunity to accumulate savings. Psychological issues often intervene between parents and their maturing children and unresolved anger from the divorce resurfaces. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee that both parents will contribute according to their financial ability, there are some strategies which will increase the likelihood that the child will receive financial help from [...]