The ever increasing cost of post high school education, whether college, vocational school or something else, isa serious concern for many parents today. It is an extraordinary cost that many divorcing parents of teenagers must give seriousconsideration.
 
College costs include the more obvious expenses – tuition, room and board, books and required fees. Nowadays, however, the list of often included expenses also encompasses SAT/ACT review courses and registration fees, transportation to and from college several times per year, trips to visit colleges the student is considering applyingto and application fees. Sometimes college coaches, computers and study abroad areadded to the list.
 
Most parents want the best for their children, but who pays when both want their children to have every advantage, but also prefer the other parent to shoulder the greater financial burden? In most circumstances both parents have an obligation to contribute to their child’s educational expenses. On the other hand, both parents (whether custodial or non-custodial) have the right to consultation about and a say in the choice of school and the coststhey can afford.
 
Typically the Parent of Primary Residence (PPR) is most directly involved in the initial college selection process (not always). She/hegenerally has more daily contact with the child and often a greater exposure to the child’s thoughts and plans about college. It is the PPR’s duty to provide the Parent of Alternate Residence (PAR) with all the information she/he has access to. It is both parents’ duty to communicate with each other and the child about the selection process and how much each can afford to contribute.
 
Of course, the child has obligations, too. He must be diligent and serious about his studies. He must apply for financial aid. Often a childis expected to work  during the summer to help defray costs and to take loans which he will repay in the future.continued on next page >>
 
How much each parent contributes and how much a child must earn and/or borrow is dependent on a multitude of factors. Among them are the parents’ respective incomes, assets, and liabilities, the child’s ability to contribute to his educational expenses, the child’s relationship with each parent and, of course, the costs associated with the schools the child is considering.
 
When a child is estranged from a parent from whom a contribution to college costs is sought, the reasons for the estrangement take on significance. Is the child
difficult and unappreciative? Did the PPR alienate the child from the PAR? Did the PAR alienate himself fromthe child? In several family court cases, conspiracy like behavior between the child and the PPR to distance the PAR from the child’s life resulted in no contribution from such an alienated parent. However, when the parent’s bad behavior caused the rift, the alienated parent will likely be required to contribute.
 
Another important factor is the age of the child at the time the parents are getting divorced. When the children are younger than fifteen or sixteen the issue is usually too speculative to resolve in a concrete way and must be postponed. Will the child’s grades qualify him for college? Which college? How much will it cost when he is college age? What will the parents’ respective financial abilities be at the time? When college is more imminent, these questions can be answered and the allocation of responsibility can be determined.