The internet has spawned many positive changes for modern living. Communication is easier and instantaneous. Email and social media have dramatically altered the way our society communicates. Telephone calls and interpersonal conversations make up a steadily decreasing percentage of human contact.
People simply don’t talk to each other as much as they used to. They, more often, put what they have to say in writing. The good news is: there is a record of what was said. The bad news is: there is a record of what was said. Depending on what was said, who said it and to whom and the context in which it was said, in a divorce this can be a helpful tool or a stubborn blight.
It is hard to fathom why people often commit damaging admissions or venomous tirades to writing. The recipient often receives a gift – evidence that can make a point far more easily and emphatically than testimony from a saint. The speaker often creates damaging evidence that is difficult or impossible to overcome.
Another thing that is so baffling about modern communication is that people will often put in writing things they would never say over the telephone or to a person’s face. The impersonal nature of digital communication somehow emboldens people, very often to their own detriment.
It is wise to pause before making written statements, as you would if you were writing a letter or a speech. Don’t be so quick to hit the “send” button because once you do, there is no “unsend” button by which to retrieve an illadvised email or text.
Social media has also changed modern life. It has created a desire in many people to share every (no matter how banal) detail of their lives. This can provide a goldmine of information in a divorce. Postings should always be judicious, but in the context of divorce, an even stronger filter should be used.
It is amazing how many people use the internet in self-destructive ways. And, contrary to what most people think, deleting a post or an email or text message does not completely sanitize your cyberspace. There remains a permanent record somewhere deep in your hard drive that IT experts can retrieve.
The internet is a wonderful modern invention. Like those other modern inventions, the automobile, modern medicine and dynamite, it should be used with caution.
