What happens when the higher earning spouse is suddenly laid off or becomes the victim of a corporate merger or is otherwise terminated for reasons beyond his or her control? A family, which based its lifestyle on a certain level of income, can suddenly be thrust into turmoil.
Mortgage and car payments, manageable before the job loss can become daunting obligations. What about the child who is halfway through college at an expensive university? Medical insurance, tutoring for a struggling high school student, or even basic necessities, in some cases, can become seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
Obtaining a new position at the same income level in a short amount of time is not guaranteed. Depending on the industry and the person’s age, that may be an unrealistic expectation. In fact, it may, in some cases, be an impossibility.
During these crises it is important to remember that the job loss is not just the terminated spouse’s problem. It is the entire family’s problem – just as it is in an intact family. The loss of a lucrative position affects every family member and is best addressed through cooperation and a mutually candid exploration of each party’s (and the children’s) financial needs in an effort to fairly allocate available resources.
A good faith job search and a realistic assessment of the job market are also essential ingredients in dealing with such a problem. Is a position at the same level as the one that was lost realistically in the cards? Or does the terminated spouse and, indeed, the entire family, have to consider a long term reduction in lifestyle?
These questions are better addressed through cooperation. Anger, mistrust, and animosity contribute to the problem, not the solution. The more transparent and collaborative the spouses can be in assessing the numerous consequences and components of a job loss, the better the chances are that they will find a livable solution.
Spouses may have to consider a series of temporary resolutions given the uncertainty that lies ahead. Reassessment and renegotiation, although generally not preferable, may be the best you can do when the employment future is unknown. A sliding scale for support, linked to future earnings levels, may make sense in some cases.
The point is that in these situations the risk the future presents are shared risks. They aren’t just one spouse’s risks. And as such, banging heads in court, isn’t likely to yield the most creative solutions. It’s time to set aside differences and work with your attorneys to explore common ground and equitable results.
Job loss is stressful. Divorce is stressful. Mixed together they can be a lethal cocktail. These are issues that call for both spouses to rise up, not hunker down. And, just maybe, rebuild some of the trust that was lost a long time ago.
